I am writing this letter because I am tired. Why am I tired, you ask? Because of you. I'm sure you're aware that the doorbells in our neighborhood are extremely loud, as they obnoxiously play Fur Elise over, and over, and over. While this is annoying, it's not necessarily a problem...during the day. The problem occurs when you, dear neighbor, come home at three a.m. and ring said doorbell continuously for AN HOUR. The simultaneous banging on the door and calling of a cell phone within the house does not help the matter. In fact, it makes all of the residents of our building want to bang their heads against a wall until they cause enough brain damage to rid them of the curse of hearing your late-night cacophony.
You see, we actually have to get up early and go to work the next day, and it's not so easy to entertain kindergartners when you're bleary-eyed from sleep deprivation. I don't know why you can't get into your house. Perhaps whoever you live with is angry at you for your late-night gallivanting, or maybe you just keep forgetting your key. Either way, you have two options that would really increase your popularity in our neighborhood, or at least keep everyone from wanting to hunt you down and hose you off until you sober up. Option one: come home earlier. Option two: instead of ringing the doorbell for an hour, why not just walk five minutes up the hill and sleep in the jim-jil-bong for the night. It will only cost you a couple of bucks, and it's a lot less trouble than standing there unsuccessfully trying to get in your house all night.
Please, dear neighbor, have some mercy on everyone within a half-mile radius of your house. We'd really enjoy a good night's sleep; I think it would really increase the neighborhood's morale.
Sincerely,
The Neighborhood Waygook
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